How To Kiss advises that you cannot know if you really love an online friend or a dating agency prospect, or know if they really love you, till you both meet ! (and a first meeting should be careful, with a friend of yours or family present.) So start online love carefully.
But the internet does allow people who are extremely shy to get to know a person from a distance, and get some awkward issues out in the open and resolved before meeting face to face - and sometimes people are all but engaged before seeing their potential true love in person. So for some the Friends, Dating or Marriage websites are a boon, when people have little chance to start real relationships locally. On the internet anyone can make new friends - even those who dislike socialising often or do not have the time, money, confidence or desire to do so. The online world gives many the opportunity to create bonds with others despite any such barriers.
For an online love the real Next Level is a real meeting, but some will think that a good half-way level would be to move to phone calls or better to web cam video if you have something with a suitable camera. Well phone calls are certainly not as good as a real meeting and some are not good with the phone, especially shyer people. And to avoid a possible phone-pest problem you might buy a cheap spare second phone and just give them that number. But if you do decide to try moving to phone calls with an internet partner then these tips can help make first phone calls more useful ;
1. Agree a time for dialing, and stick to it.
2. Have the main facts you know about them, in writing in front of you, when dialing.
3. Have a few things you want to ask them, in writing in front of you, when dialing.
4. Listen to what they say carefully, and answer them. (Do not watch TV or listen to music at the same time)
5. If talk is dragging or drifting, end the call with something like 'Well, gotta go now. Lets talk again soon'.
(PS. these are also good principles for first internet conversations)
Online love can certainly now offer great opportunities, but on-line love does also have some very real dangers. Read the following useful article on it, and our further advice below ;
Is 'real' love possible to attain via computer? There are many factors that come into play when two people fall in love. Some cannot be described in a definitive way; such as chemical attraction. Other factors are qualities that we find in another person that compliment our desires of a 'perfect' mate. Honesty, integrity, loyalty, caring, a fun loving personality and good morals are just a few of these qualities. Many woman and men alike, have 'fallen in love' over the internet. They have done so, without the possibility of truly seeing any of these qualities in the other person. So before we put our hearts on the line, we must ask ourselves; is it truly possible to love someone via computer?
The majority of people who believe they have discovered true love without actually meeting the other person, have done so by implementing a type of instant messenger or video conferencing. We will focus on this element, as the element of a webcam can be misleading. When two people find each other and begin to chat on-line, one of two things happens. Either they do not feel a connection or they do. If a connection is felt, this can quickly escalate into chatting every day. They believe they have discovered the excitement that one feels when meeting someone new. However, they have not really met, have they?
It is a fact that many people are lonely. This is not new to us, many single people are busy with work, single moms are busy with their children and it can be very daunting and difficult to find a meaningful relationship in the 'real' world. With personal computers in the majority of households, many people turn to this internet environment when they are lonely and wish for someone to talk to.
It is important to realize that the world inside a computer is not, and never can be, the real world. When craving acceptance, love, caring, attention and a relationship, one can easily be led astray into the art of misperception. Often, this misperception is not done on purpose. Both people involved in the on-line relationship do not even realize this is happening.
The truth of the matter is this: the key elements of a true and loving relationship cannot materialize through a computer. You may wish for them, daydream of them and tell yourself they exist, but they do not. Starting with physical and chemical attraction: a person may feel they are attracted to the image on a webcam but this in no way is the actual person that exists. Anyone who owns a webcam surely understands that it is very easy to show yourself in a good light via cam. If you feel that you are completely attracted to the other person, ask yourself this: Do you entirely show your true self on your cam? Webcams are an image of you, a moving image and very far from what you are perceived as in person. If you are attracted to someone via cam, ask yourself, have you stood close to him or her and taken in the presence of his or her body? Do you love the fragrance of their cologne/ perfume? Do you love the feel of their kisses? When they hug you, is it done strongly or softy? Do you love those hugs? When you touch their hair, do you admire the feel of it? The smell of it? The answer, of course is no. You have no idea what this person is like in person nor how you feel physically and emotionally when touching them.
Qualities such as honesty, loyalty, integrity, caring and general overall mood are extremely important to a strong and loving relationship. If a person possesses these qualities, it can then free you to respect the person and set a ground for trust and a feeling of safety. Someone who is in love on-line, may debate that they have seen these qualities already. To this, I ask; Are you there in the house when they get home from work and see what they do with all of their spare time? Are you witness to their work ethics? Do you sit around a table with their family and see the loving interaction? Have you gotten in an argument and have seen if the other person stays to talk or walks out the door in anger? Have you stood by them when they hear some unpleasant news and are witness to how they react? Have you greeted them at the end of a long day, a day that tested their nerves, and then received a hug? Did you cook and then burn dinner and they told you it does not matter, they love you for trying? Did you forget to run an important errand that you promised you would, and they told you not to worry? The list is endless. The conclusion is that there is no possible way to know of how this person will interact in a relationship without physically being with them.
Love can be confusing. Craving a relationship or marriage can send people in a blindness that prevents them from understanding the misperception that occurs on-line. Again, this misperception does not need to be by intention. The mere fact that there is no actual 'in person' interface is what causes this misperception to arise in the first place. A person can be intrigued, in lust, in 'like', or in a false reality of love when on-line with another. Only in spending quality time face-to-face, will the true colors of the other surface. It is at that time, that you should decide if you are in love.
About the Author: This article was written by the webmaster of http://www.lovebulletin.com . Love Bulletin is a free and complete women's on-line magazine. Readers change the content with submissions in Fill-in-the-Blanks and more. Great guides, articles and checklists for all the relationship information you will ever need.
being careful about making friends on the internet or with dating agencies is especially needed by under 18s, who should always tell a parent who may be helpful. Secret friends are fishy !! Even if you have NOT told a parent about them, it is a good idea to tell a new internet friend or agency prospect that you HAVE - that will probably scare off the worst crooks.
A professional agency will want a good deal of information about you so they can try to find you a perfect partner, but some internet 'friends websites' let you put a very little about you on-line and you see whatever lot of people that attracts. In either case, you should try to explain honestly (without giving your address, phone or workplace) the complete you now, and if you discuss a hobby you had but have dropped then make clear that was the past you.
Get clear on what you mainly really want - friendly company, regular sex, to have children, money or love. You will do best to show yourself right for what you want - if you only want friendly company then do not say you mostly like sex because that will only attract those who mainly want that. And try to say honestly and completely what type of person you like - eg age, race, religion, drinker, smoker etc.
And if you are going to meet an internet friend or agency prospect for the first time, you should always have a relative or friend(s) with you - and say that you will when you are fixing a first meeting !!
OK you have got to know someone online who seems interesting. What are the main things that you should consider before you decide if you should meet ?
And remember that if one online friend does not work out, you can always find another online friend - who will hopefully be better.
How To Kiss advice is for boy, girl, man, woman, single, divorced, separated, widowed, single parent, teen, middle aged or older.
IF you are thinking about using the internet to get to know someone, then maybe use here half-free carefully ;
Note that general friends blogging websites like these are not centred on making new real friends or on dating, but are more for those wanting to listen and to talk on the internet only. And under-18s especially may not yet know themselves who they really are and so their words should not be taken as all seriously true even if they are trying to be honest. And lots on-line are tricksters of course.
There are also many general and specialised dating websites, a few of which are free but most of them have charges.
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