How To Kiss advises not going too mad about your wedding - it is just one day and you have the rest of your life to look forward to.
Of course it is a very special day, so you will want it to go nicely !
Your wedding will mean making some choices - a bigger wedding or a smaller wedding, a civic wedding or a church wedding, an outdoor wedding or an indoor wedding - but do share with your partner and discuss together some of the main wedding decisions, and do not let parents decide everything. Then your marriage will get off to a better start.
In most cases a big wedding is a big mistake best left to the very rich only. Not only does a great expense waste money that could be better used, but it can also make extra problems with in-laws and others that you will be better without. So even if it is parents money, you will be wise to keep the spending down. A smaller wedding can still be a very nice wedding, and be the biggest day of your life. So consider carefully what your big day should mainly involve ;
1. Who will attend your wedding, and/or the fun after it ? Maybe the families of you and your partner, maybe your friends, maybe your work colleagues, maybe your neighbours ? It is generally a bad idea to invite lots of people that you know little, but it may pay to invite a boss even if they do not accept. And you might consider if you should invite less people to the wedding than to the fun after, or if you want all invitations to be for both.
2. Where will your wedding be, and where will the fun after it be ? You might come up with an idea of a place that you can have both, but many settle for two separate places like a church and a hired hall. If you go for a small wedding then a civic wedding and a local inn may suit you fine. (and if you and your partner's families live an hour or two apart then you could consider having two small wedding receptions ?)
3. If you want a formal wedding then you will want to arrange bridesmaids, best-man, wedding vows etcetera, though these may not all be needed for a small wedding.
4. Food and drink. A mixed help-yourself buffet is easier than a served meal, and can include a labelled vegetarian section and kids foods. Drink should include soft drinks and not just alcohol, as a drunken wedding may go badly.
The details may take 1 month to arrange for a small wedding, or 12 months to arrange for a large wedding. But what you will probably need to arrange, in do-order, is ;
* Discuss with your partner likely wedding costs and how they can be covered.
* Select a wedding date and time - and those that you really want to attend, tell well before the wedding date.
* Contact your local marriage official and reserve your ceremony time and site, then arrange a separate reception site if needed.
* You may then want to arrange a caterer, photographer and entertainment.
* You may then want to buy, or see about renting, a bride's gown and perhaps groom and bridesmaids wear (wedding dress first !).
* Discuss honeymoon ideas and make reservations if needed. Remember passports if required.
* Buy or order suitable wedding invitation cards, and perhaps response cards.
* Arrange for accommodation for out-of-town guests if needed. Reserve a block of rooms at a local hotel, at a group discount ?
* Select and order wedding rings (maybe a gold wedding ring and a diamond wedding ring ?).
* Produce your guest list, of names, addresses and phone numbers.
* Begin addressing invitations, including response cards if required with stamps.
* Arrange wedding flowers if wanted.
* Order a wedding cake.
* Arrange wedding day transportation for the main wedding party.
* Mail invitations to allow time for responses before the big day.
* Together with your fiancê, obtain marriage license. (for USA marriage)
* One week before the wedding, you may want to start packing for your honeymoon. Remember camera, film and passport.
* Have your hair done for the big day !
* Write brief wedding vows if needed.
* On the day, remember the wedding ring(s).
After the wedding, as soon as possible arrange for whatever name changes, address changes and beneficiary changes may be needed on important documents.
Also you may want to announce your marriage to the world, before or after. And some websites offer free online space to place your own engagement or wedding photos.
Wedding rings are for at least all of your married life, which hopefully will be many years. The traditional wedding ring is a plain yellow gold band with a curved or 'D' top, maybe 3mm wide for women and 6mm wide for men. Of course you may have your own ideas on ring styles. You will want rings that will last well, and that depends on both the quality of the gold used and the quality of the ring making.
Gold quality mainly relates to gold content in Karats (k) [or Carats (ct)], with 14k to 22k the best range for jewellery and 14k cheaper. Below 14k can be low quality and above 22k is soft. Prices should chiefly reflect karats and ring weight. You will also want a better made gold band that quality jewellers provide, and be aware that a lot of very poor jewellery is for sale presented as being quality jewellery.
Typical 2018 prices for plain yellow-gold 'D' rings for ring size 8.25 (Q) ;
3mm wide, 2.3g weight - 18 karat around $300 (£175), 9 karat around $160 (£95).
6mm wide, 5.5g weight - 18 karat around $650 (£385), 9 karat around $385 (£230).
(bands are generally made so that ring size has little or no effect on price, which may make big ring sizes thin.)
You can try an Ebay search on 'gold wedding ring' or use our Amazon links below to get some ideas, but be careful who you are buying from since there are some crooks selling very poor jewellery.
A wedding speech should be short - below 5 minutes - starting by introducing yourself briefly.
Write it around your memories of the couple, maybe of you meeting them and/or of them meeting each other.
The guests will love to hear your special memories about the newly wed couple. If you can think of any funny occasions or events, that can often bring a good laugh. Add something about how you know they are right for each other.
(Do not try to give the newlywed couple any advice on marriage in your speech, nor on politics or religion !)
A short speech from the heart will go well, spoken clearly and slowly so that everyone can hear you. And you can keep calm, your small wedding speech does not have to go perfect. It will go OK.
OR. If you have any special part to play at a family or friend's wedding (best man, bridesmaid or maybe a small speech) then try visiting www.easyweddingtoasts.com - which has some good stuff though it does lean to USA formal type weddings.
See our advice on gold, diamonds and cubic zirconia in Marriage.
How To Kiss advice is for boy, girl, man, woman, single, divorced, separated, widowed, single parent, teen or older.
otherwise, if you have any view or suggestion about this site, email How To Kiss
or write Vincent Wilmot, 166 Freeman Street, Grimsby, Lincs DN327AT, UK.